Nothing is more revealing of the state of a man's vitality, drive and masculinity than his erection. It's the divining rod of his power; the barometer of all that is strong and assertive in his psyche. It's the palpable backbone of his existence. When it's pulsing, firm and ever-ready, the man's ability to perform and penetrate the world is at its peak.
I've written about how I fall in love with cocks
. A layer of that love is wound up in the admiration of firmness. A cock is nothing if not firm. In the same way, a pussy is nothing if not gushing. In a healthy, virile male, an erection is a thing of wonder - it's solid and available upon demand.
Know the cock and you know the man.
Even a man who needs to combat a tendency to be quick to the draw has more to offer than a man who can't achieve erection easily. It's a natural tendency in the polarity of the sexes, say the Taoists, for men to need to cultivate their staying power. Men are like fire: quick to ignite and quick to extinguish, whereas women are like water: slow to boil, but they keep on boiling. The aim is for both sexes to meet somewhere in the middle - for men to prolong the state of arousal and for women to access it more quickly.
These days, I prefer my lovers to come readymade
. By the time a man is at least in his mid-twenties, he ought to have conquered the urge to release quickly. I've also found the occasional man with the wonderful ability to regenerate in minutes. Multiple times. It seems to be a quality they have been born with. On a sexual level at least, this is a keeper.
With men having the opposite problem - the inability to obtain erections or obtain them easily - I find that something deeper is usually at play. It's sometimes a physical issue, but more often it's a dissociation from their sexual energy. They no longer inhabit it and can't activate it; they are sexually dormant. Not only are they withdrawn sexually, but also withdrawn from life on some level. They've lost the urge to bend the world over and fuck it senseless. And in a man, this is a quality I cannot be without.
I tend to have excellent fuck radar (enough trial and error I suppose) and so the men I fall into bed with are generally keepers - so long as I have fallen into bed through a visceral, pussy-driven response. One that (it's cliche, I know, but it actually happens with me) makes me weak in the knees, a bit dizzy and very, very, nervous. Dry mouth, moist pussy, and sweat dripping down my armpits. Those would be the signs of well-matched libidos.
On a tangential note, I just looked up libido (wikipedia) because in words I like, I'm curious to see how many multi-dimensional meanings they have. In this entry, they say that libido is narrowly defined as the individual's urge to engage in sexual activity. Apparently though, Freud talked about the libido as the "instinct energy force" and in Jung's words: "the free creative—or psychic—energy an individual has to put toward personal development or individuation." I like the correlation.
Labels: objet d'art